YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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