so that wasnt chicken after all
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
