I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
