How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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