Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
