I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
