We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
