In the future we'll all be gay
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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