My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
