How'd it feel making her break her religion?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You ate ashes out of my bong
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
