No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
