sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
