You're so nebulous sometimes
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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