Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize