im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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