Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
