I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
