Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
My life is pants optional.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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