Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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