What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
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