called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
