we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
