I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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