didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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