Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
