I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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