weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
