why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
