Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
...so i touched it.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
