you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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