I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
