apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
