How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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