I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
