So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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