The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
