my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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