I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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