I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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