I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize