Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
