Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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