best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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