You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
