i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
