He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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