She said her name was "party"
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
