the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
My bed smells like the plague
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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