turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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