He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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