how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
