so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
