so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
