I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
