Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
