I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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