she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
