it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
