I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize