Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
