pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize