I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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