his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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