Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
