Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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