bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize