Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
